Deja Vu all over again. This animal is familiar to me. The same smirk sans the harness and decorations ::taking a quick peek at an old picture:: Yup, the same stubborn jackass I met in New Orleans. Took three tries just to take a snapshot, I remember him well…kept shaking his head “No, not on your life, there’s nothing in it for me”. Oh brother! This is going to be some trip…already starting in negative numbers so to speak. ::deep sigh:: Oh well, no use procrastinating he’s the only one left. Here goes nothing! ::circling around being careful not to approach him from behind::

Tossing them into the box

I am going to take a calculated risk and toss all my yesterdays and all my tomorrows into the box.
All that yesterdays have done to mold me is done and done.
All the tomorrows may never come, there is no guarantee.
From this moment I will try my mightiest to live and savor the present.

The Serpentine Road Calls

Anon! I come with satchel and spade

Reins in hand, astride my humble steed

Wait!

I feel I have left something important behind

Methinks ….

Yes, it is… something that has held me back

For far too long…

Rigidity

Encapsulated in a wrung out skin called

Fear

It is only important because now I am left

Unencumbered by shedding the skin

Of burdens it enshrouded me with

The leaving has left me Free

Now

Ah! The new country ahead

Promises discoveries

I am of the plant world knowing

Collector of herbs and maker of medicines

Speaking the language of green things and lofty trees

There!

All is well.

I ride free now

Stella Raye

~*~

Believer’s Surrender Box

The box outside the enchanted doorway had a tag on it that read: Believer.

A worn park bench, weathered from years of outdoor use was nearby and I lugged the heavy box to it and sat. Dull gray in color, it was larger than I’d expected, and very heavy. A handle on the top was sturdy and rounded and enabled me to carry the unexpected weight comfortably. What could possibly be inside to make it so heavy and if I was supposed to fill it with something, how did it open? It was smooth to the touch on all sides. Ah, leave it to Le Enchanteur to begin the journey with a mystery!

I sat with the box on my knees, stroking the smooth surface. Metal? Hard wood? It was impossible to guess, but it gleamed more and more and, reminded of Aladdin’s lamp, I took the edge of my sleeve and began to rub until my own face shone back at me. My image melted away and with a slight ripple, on the silvery surface, the word “Surrender,” wrote itself and slipped immediately from view.

“What shall I surrender?” I asked.

“Relinquish possession,” followed so quickly I barely had time to read and then it too was gone.

“Of what?” I murmured.

“Uncage and set free!” With that, the box tipped and I had all I could do not to drop it. Something was bouncing around inside! “NOW!” the letters nearly shouted. The struggle of some living thing within the box was undeniable. It dawned on me the container had to be airless. My fingers tore at the corners looking for a seam or entranceway but found none. In tears now, I offered a quick prayer and watched as latches popped out on the front and hinges on the back, neither of which had existed a moment earlier. I set the box hurriedly on the floor, not sure which frightened me most–what would come out of the box when I opened it or the fact that “it” had nothing to breathe and would soon die if not released.

There was less motion than before, a thumping against the side of the box, but weaker, without strength; resignation or lack of oxygen was gaining control over the creature and whether it was a monster or not, I had to set it free.

With shaking hands, I flipped the latches. The box was still. Was it dead or waiting to attack? A slight movement inside and the top began to raise. Instinctively I backed away. I heard the labored breathing first, the gulping of precious air, then saw white fur surrounding a pink nose and two bleary pink eyes peering out at me and a set of floppy ears. A rabbit gathered it’s strength, jumped out and, sitting down, scratched behind one ear with its hind foot.

I bent over and extended my hand. It eyed my nervously. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” It stayed still, but when I leaned in a bit closer it hopped nearer to the door and sat facing me again. “You’re a timid little thing aren’t you? Don’t be afraid.”

It made a strange choking sound and fell onto its side. At first, I thought it was an after effect from the lack of oxygen, and then I realized it was . . . . . laughing at me! Stifled giggles to start with, then snorting noises, then finally a full out guffaw, this silly little creature, whose life I had just saved, found me uproariously funny!

“Okay, what’s the deal here? What’s so funny?” I demanded.

“You are,” it exclaimed in a weak voice. Tears were rolling onto its muzzle and it stopped to wipe them away first with one paw then the other. “Oh, my, you humans are dense. You give us animals your own characteristics, use us for metaphors and when we turn the tables on you, you don’t even get it.”

I wanted to scream at the miserable little beast, but I was afraid the other travelers might hear. “Get what?” I asked through clenched teeth and with as much civility as I could muster, “Get what?”

“Oh, I’m not allowed to tell,” it told me solemnly, “you have to figure that out for yourself.” With that its furry, little face contorted and it broke into another fit of the giggles.

“I’m sort of a no-frills writer, I don’t go overboard with metaphors,” I said, stalling for time. “Aesop? The race between the tortoise and the rabbit?”

“That was a hare,” it answered snippily, “and a fable not a metaphor.”

“Well, you don’t act like any rabbit I’ve ever seen, you’re supposed to be timid and afraid!”

It smiled at me. Not a superior, snooty, smile as I would have expected, but a genuine glad-ya-finally-got-it grin.

And I grinned back.

“There’s a pencil and a piece of paper in the box, just write the surrender words and let’s hit the road Kiddo!”

The cave of the Elders

In the afternoon, after we had all rested, Patience, Sox and I sat off towards the shore which now appeared on the distant horizon. We were walking along a path, cliffs to our right and a steep drop to our left when I heard the sound of voices. I had not expected to meet anyone on this first day of travelling and curiosity led me towards the cave from where the sound was coming.

I tethered Patience and taking Sox with me walked quietly to the opening of the cave hoping to observe without being seen. However, as soon as I had come near the mouth of the cave a friendly voice shouted out,
“Welcome stranger, come in, make yourself known to us.”

I entered the cave very hesitantly, but there was no need to be afraid, for there was a group of ten people, five men and five women sitting together, drinking tea, laughing and talking. After I was made welcome,I explained that I was on a journey, mentioned who had sent me (this brought a lot of knowing laughter and shouts of “good luck then”) and asked them what they were doing.
“We are Elders,” they told me “and our job in the world is to teach meditation, renunciation, and the way to a quiet and peaceful mind. We are about to meditate ourselves, do you wish to join us?”

I laughed, a hard cynical little laugh and said,
“I think you would have a job teaching me to meditate – and a quiet and peaceful mind? No chance…maybe I should go?”

One of the women approached me and took my hands in hers and said,
“Stay and try. Trying is meditating as well.” She looked at me, examining my features and continued “Those who resist are those who need to learn to meditate most.”

We sat in rows and the meditation began. Slowly, the Elder who was leading the meditation relaxed our bodies, stilled our minds and then asked us to repeat the words “peace” and “love” as we breathed in and out. Peace, love, peace, love…….

The known world disappeared. A feeling of bliss overcame my mind which began to clear. The anguish I had known, the pain of loss, the fear of lonliness, the bitterness of betrayal all began to dissolve, like a mist leaving my body….

When the meditation was finally over I was filled with inner peace and calm. The woman who had persuaded me to stay came and sat with me.
“Aren;t you glad you stayed?” she asked and I said that I was but that I feared that the feeling of bliss would not stay with me. She handed me a large shell.
“This is treasure for your bag,” she said. “When you are in need of inner peace, place the shell to your ear and you will be able to take part in our meditation. Do not fear, we shall be overseeing your journey. We will be able to “see” you even when you do not see us, for this is a spiritual quest as well as a physical journey.”

I felt calm and peaceful as I said goodbye to the Elders and walked out of the cave to find Patience……who had managed to somehow work her tether loose and was nowhere to be seen. So much for inner peace I thought as I ran like a mad woman trying to find my donkey.

I did find her, eventually, drinking in a quiet place, quite happy with life, a donkey smile on her donkey face. I on the other hand, was in a state of agitation, hot and sweating having feared that she was lost forever. I stroked Patience’s ears, fed her a carrot, and picked Sox up to stroke her.
“What a menagerie,” I said to myself. “Inner peace indeed……how will I ever achieve inner peace when I can;t even manage for five minutes, even after meeting the Elders?” and in that moment I knew why I had come on the journey. I was in search of that elusive feeling of inner peace, and the adventures to come would show me the way. That was why my map was so indistint. There were pointers, but I would have to do much of the work by myself, deciphering clues, guessing at directions, interpreting signs. The thought was at once cheering and daunting. I sighed and turned to my companions.

“Come on you two,” I said. “Time to get to the sea…….who knows what we will find when we get there,” and we turned towards the distant horizon.

Departing Words

Departing Words

“Well,” I said, as a climbed aboard the big grey horse I had acquired for my travels through Lemuria. “I guess it’s time to be off. Giddyapp!”

The animal stood there, unmoving.

“C’Mon, girl, let’s move!” I gave her a goad with my heels.

“Ouch! What’s with the spurs?” rumbled a deep voice.

I froze in my saddle.

“And who are you calling ‘girl’? My name is Sweet Albert.”

“Excuse me, but did you just say something? ” I asked as I leaned forward. Albert’s massive head swung around and he glared at me.

“Yes, I did. Do you see anyone else around?”

“Um, no, but, gee, well……”

“Well, what?”

“You’re a horse.”

Albert shook his mane and snorted. “Great. They’ve given me a real smart one.”

“But…. you talk…..”

“Stop, you’re overwhelming me with you mighty powers of observation! Of course, I can talk. All animals can talk if you just stop and listen to them. Except mice…. wretched little beasts……always underfoot….”

“Um, okay. You can talk. I apologize for being a dolt. Someone should have warned me I was getting Mr. Ed as a partner on this trip.”

“Uncle Ed? You know my Uncle Ed? “

“Nevermind. We need to get going.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. You aren’t ready to leave yet. You need to leave it.”

“Leave what?” I asked nervously, shifting in my saddle.

“You know what.”

“Um, I beg to differ.”

Suddenly, Sweet Albert gave a soft buck with his hind quarters and I went sprawling on the ground. My saddle bag flopped open and the contents went flying as well.

A small box landed in front of me.

“That. Leave it.”

“Oh…. ha…. yes, how could I forget to leave that.” I slowly picked up the Surrender Box.

“You thought you could take that with you? All those memories of bad relationships– the one’s you keep repeating in you mind– those vile conversations that you rehearse over and over– all those angry thoughts you keep mulling over in your heart. Too heavy. Not even I can carry those on this trip.”

I felt my face blush with shame.

Albert turned his head towards me and softly said, “No need for that, sweet cheeks…. you need to forgive yourself as much as you need to forgive them. Now get up and put that box away….. that’s it, inside the arch. I understand it will be taken to the moon and left there.”

I placed the box as he directed and brushed a tear from my face.

“Now, now, let’s get away from here.” Albert nuzzled me gently with his soft nose. “The sun is rising high and those flies are such a bother when it gets along in the day. Up you go.”

I mounted Sweet Albert and with a gentle trot, we were on the way.

Lori Gloyd (c) May 15, 2006

Sweet Surrender

I have become an amalgam of ideas.
I have become one I didn’t expect.
My philosophy shifted and my vision crashed
I am still reeling from my newness of mind.

Now I understand everything is grace
Everything is given to fulfill something

Take it!
All of it!
Leave me what you think I need
and I will trust that all will be well.

I have done all I can now
I can only go with the flow

I offer my everything
To the earth, to the sky
To the moon, to the sun…

The dreams of my heart
are the dreams of
the universe dreaming
through me

Prayer by Julia Cameron

found written on a tiny scroll inside a burnt out apothecary chest

setting off

One minute I was surrounded by a group of excited travellers with their assorted steeds and the next….there was a flash and bang, and I found myself alone in a clearing in a forest with my donkey Patience. She would have to be patient. I had never learnt to ride and had no idea of how to take care of her and as for riding……I had never ridden anything in my life. Never mind. We would have to learn to look out for each other. I scratched her long ears and she placed her muzzle into my neck before wandering off to find somewhere to graze.

I looked in my bag. Hidden at the very bottom was my secret item. I knew why I had chosen it, but was not sure when I would need it but it was safe. I removed the map and began to study it closely. I did not recognise it as being anywhere in the known world. In this enchanted land it might be a map of the subconcious mind, or of hidden desires, or secrets untold. It might also be a place where adventures would take (or had taken) place.

I thought being alone would be unnerving but I felt surprisingly calm. The day was warm and balmy, the sunlight filtering through the leaves in the trees above me. I drank clear water from a stream and decided to set off down the hill towards a smudge of blue in the distance which I thought might be the sea or an inland lake.

I called Patience and she ambled over slowly.
“Slow and steady wins the race.” I remembered my mother’s words over half a century before.

I also remembered that she had told me
“Patience is the virtue of the donkey.” This had driven me through life, until I had finally realised that donkeys were wise and then developed the art of being patient. I don’t know or remember whether my mother was being ironic.

I decided to mount Patience. I put one foot into the stirrup and hauling myself up found myself sitting facing backwards. Patience snorted – I assumed she was laughing at me. Grumbling I climbed down and started again. A heave, a gasp, and I was finally sitting facing forwards.
“Walk on Patience,” I said with an attempt at authority. “We need to get going.”

Patience lurched forward and I fell off. This was not going to be as easy as I had hoped.

Several difficult hours later before we descended from the forest onto the costal plain, I dismounted and decided to walk alongside Patience for a while and give both of us a rest. As I walked I became aware that we were being followed. A little black dog with white socks had attached herself to us and although I tried to send her away, I finally decided that she could join us and so we came that first afternoon to the seashore, me, my donkey and my little dog who I decided to call Sox in honour of her paws……

Going somewhere, somehow

I think donkeys have character. Much more so that a horse anyway, which is what my not-on-this-travel husband dear prefers. I think donkeys are smart and funny and have personalities.

I am merrily bouncing along on my donkey, mostly in circles because neither Roselea (the donkey) or I am used to having someone else to work with. It’s kind of like that three-legged race game. First you have to learn to move together, then you can move forward.

She is wearing flowers on her head; all I can figure is that she is as showy as I am. In fact, she used to be a show donkey, performing tricks for circus crowds. Unfortunately, in her stubborness, she now refuses to move any other way than circular unless she wants to. Nevermind. We’ll go when she’s ready, and we’ll get there when we’re supposed to. My life always works in a funny way like this.

I have my travel bag on my hip, filled with what Le Enchanteur gave me, plus my stash. I have what I need and only a few things more, as I always pick things up along the way.

As Roselea makes a round, I pass the door I just came through. I look at the land around me- lush and green with moss and leaves. There is a path through the trees, but it too is grown green with moss. I don’t know where everyone else is, but I can hear them in the distance. Roselea can too; her ears prick up with a keeness.

I dig around in my bag for the map Le Enchanteur gave me. Hmmm.. I turn it round and round, trying to acclimate myself. Roselea walks round and round, in an obvious effort to confuse me more. Finally I locate the door I came through, right the map and start looking for Blind Springs, which is where I am supposed to be. At the other end of the section I have unfolded is the Cave of the Ancients, our next destination. But how to get there?

I bounce along- around- on Roselea, thinking. She turns her head to me and sees the map, sees the symbol for Blind Springs. Suddenly, she is straight. I am not curving inward in the circle ride. She heads towards the path of the green, green forest. And I let her, because she seems to know something. And I sure as hell don’t.

My Donkey

I met my donkey today.
she is full of humor and secrets she and dragon seem to know each other from another time
they have been talking a lot like long lost friends.
my donkeys name is Iris she has the most beautiful eyes and her fur is long and black she has a pair of beautiful wings that she just revealed to me. said that this was the first of many secrets I would discover about her on the journey to come.
we took to the air, Dragon settled in for a nap on my traveling cloak as she was sure Iris had everything under control.
I listen to the flapping of her wings and the sound of the wind wispering
telling me secrets of things to come. and answers to questions I havn’t asked.